I love green eggs and ham. You know, that fun children’s classic by Dr. Seuss. And I love actual green eggs — those fancy blue-green eggs laid by Araucanas chickens. At least I think that’s what those chickens are called. I love eggs and ham in general — especially when they’re placed on an English muffin and drowned in Hollandaise. But when eggs turn green because they’re mushed into a casserole with green stuff … well, that’s just wrong. I think you know where this is going.
The infamous Good Housekeeping’s Casserole Cook Book. I picked it up again to find another recipe to make fun of. It’s not hard to do. There were plenty of contenders as I flipped through: a certain liver recipe entitled “Columbus Casserole” (ohhh-kay?), a fancy entrée that called for 1-1/2 tablespoons of bottled meat sauce (hurl … what is THAT??), even a Tuna-Lemon Pie (don’t ask). But then I stumbled upon a recipe entitled “Ham ‘n’ Eggs.” Hmm. Sounds good, right? I mean, how can you mess up ham and eggs? Like this:
I won’t bother you with the preparation instructions. I’ll just show you the photo of the finished dish. Just pretend those deviled ham and packaged biscuit mix pinwheels on top are luscious cinnamon rolls. And ignore that green stuff oozing up to the surface.
I would not eat this in a box. I would not eat this with a fox (even if the fox was John Stamos). I would not eat this here or there. I would not eat this anywhere.