Archive for December, 2013

I’m sure you’ve all been on pins and needles waiting for the report on the Big Mac Casserole, or Le Big Mac Casserole as I think Vincent Vega would call it. Well, I made it tonight. And survived. I even took pictures so you could play along.  Here’s the recipe again, only I cut everything down to 1/3 (I certainly wasn’t planning on eating any of it):

Big Mac Casserole

1 cup white onion, chopped
5 dill pickle spears, chopped
1 1/2 pounds lean ground beef
10 slices of American cheese
1 tube reduced-fat crescent roll dough
1 head iceberg lettuce, shredded
Fake Big Mac dressing (see below)

So here’s what you do. Sauté the onion and ground beef. When it’s close to being browned, add in the chopped pickles:


Just look at that. Sautéed pickles. Mouth-watering. Next, drain the nasty grease and spread the meat mixture in a 9 x 13 dish (I used an 8 x 8 since I reduced the recipe).

Next place the America cheese slices evenly over that incredibly disgusting meat mixture.


I did cover that last little section. Just wanted to show the masterpiece-in-progress like all those fancy food blogs do.

Next, take the crescent rolls out of package, unroll the sheet and place on top of the cheese and meat mixture. If you’re like me, popping that crescent roll package on the seam scares the crap out of you, so here’s a tip: just throw it on the floor. As I was holding it as far away from myself as possible trying to break the seam with a spoon, it dropped on the floor. And popped.

Make sure to poke some holes in the dough so the steam can vent. And you can make it fancy if you want:


Now it’s ready for the oven – 375 degrees for 17 minutes. While it’s baking away, get your Fake Big Mac Sauce ready. Mix together this stuff:

3/4 cup mayo
1/4 cup mustard
3 tsp. sugar
1/8 cup onion – (fresh or reconstituted) minced
1/2 cup sweet pickle relish

Remember I reduced the amount above to 1/3. I have no idea how I did that. And um, “reconstituted onion?” I have no idea what that is, and I don’t want to know what that is. Obviously I used fresh. It all looked like this:


That’s disgusting. I also used organic cane sugar, organic mustard and light mayo, just in case you’re trying to match my version exactly (wait, as if anyone is going to make this).

Then get your iceberg lettuce ready. I say what’s the point. It’s just water. But apparently the crunch paid off, so I recommend it. And I used a fancy lettuce knife to cut it; having to look at brown iceberg lettuce might have sent me over the edge.SAMSUNG

Oh! I almost forgot the most important ingredient!!


You’ll want your favorite alcoholic beverage nearby to make it through the process.

Okay, so prepare your serving plate with a bed of chopped lettuce. When the casserole is done, let it rest for a minute, then cut a large portion and place that on top of the lettuce. Next, pour some of that Fake Big Mac Sauce over the top. I put the sauce in a plastic baggie and cut a slit in the corner so I could drizzle it on like some fancy chef. Okay, so I cut the hole too big and it looked like crap.

Anyway, I present … Big Mac Casserole:


Jay could hardly wait to taste it. After he took the first bite I asked, “So, does it taste like a Big Mac?” And he said, “EXACTLY!” Apparently it was heaven on a plate, and he must’ve said “OH MY GOD” 25 times as he devoured it. Yep, he ate the entire casserole – all 64 square inches of it:


So, did I taste it? Well, yes – one bite. And I have to admit … it didn’t suck. I’ve never eaten a Big Mac, but surprisingly, it tasted like a fast food cheeseburger. Not terrible. But that one bite was enough. So now, Jay wants to make Big Mac Casserole at least once a month. Thanks, all you freaks who search on “Big Mac Casserole” and show up in my blog stats.


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