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Posts Tagged ‘vegetarian’

Who Am I?

I’m not much for labels, but I’ve never been able to explain my diet to anyone. It would be nice to have a term to describe it. I’m about the farthest thing from a carnivore, but I’ll never pass up bacon. And I’m no vegan because I couldn’t live without cheese or butter. Especially if that cheese is gooey and piled up on top of a slice of pizza, or if the butter is melted so I can stick an Alaskan king crab leg in it. Pescatarian? Nope. Well, I mostly eat seafood when it comes to proteins, but I’ll eat chicken, too, and will never turn down a tasty piece of honey ham. For the most part I eat organic foods and a vegetarian diet with the occasional piece of meat thrown in, usually when I’m having dinner at someone else’s house. But the term “vegetarian” doesn’t work either. So what the hell am I?

There are definitions for people who avoid grains (gluten-free) or eat “clean.” There are Paleo diets, Atkins folks, “No Meat With Feet” eaters, raw food aficionados … even Fruitarians.

Yeah, the way Hugh Grant’s character looks at her is the way most people look at me when I try to explain myself as I pick pepperoni and sausage off a slice of combination pizza after eating a slice of Hawaiian.

It was so easy back in the day. When I was a kid, there was only one type of “eater” I knew about: the EatWhat’sOnYourPlateOrGoHungry-atarian. We ate whatever was served: peanut butter and jelly or bologna sandwiches, fresh fruit and vegetables, or fruit and veggies from a can. We ate hamburger, potatoes, tacos, fish sticks, fried chicken, TV dinners, mac and cheese, Spam and, thanks to my Mom, Friday Night Casserole, which was a combination of any and every thing I just mentioned.

But the clouds parted today when I stumbled upon something while doing some random research. There’s an actual term for how I eat:

Flexitarian.

That’s right. It’s a real thing:

Merriam-Webster Logoflexitarian

noun flex·i·tar·i·an \ˌflek-sə-ˈter-ē-ən\

Definition of flexitarian:

  1. one whose normally meatless diet occasionally includes meat or fish

Hmm. All this time I’ve suffered without my own label, but it was there all along. Though I doubt I’ll go around announcing myself as a Flexitarian; that just sounds ridiculous. If anything, it seems like a term Hans and Franz made up for someone who likes to go around flexing their muscles. But at least I feel validated now, and I have a fancy term to throw around if I ever need to explain my flexible eating habits. Actually the term “Flexitarian” could help prevent quite a few uncomfortable situations:  Are you a Democrat or a Republican? Patriots or Falcons? Paper or Plastic? Good Witch or Bad Witch?  “Actually, I’m a Flexitarian.”

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It’s been a long week. Actually it’s been a long two or three weeks, which I think is obvious due to the lack of posts. I’m hungry and Jay will be even hungrier when he gets home. Also, my niece is staying with us and she’s a vegetarian, so I try to accommodate her for each meal. So I have to figure out some dinner because I just don’t feel like ordering pizza. That’s the only thing that gets delivered in our area. It’s not like your fancy bustling city where you can get just about anything delivered. And it’s not payday so we really shouldn’t be getting anything delivered, unless it’s money.

So I thought, hmm…in this situation, WWMD?  (What would Mary Ann do?) Unfortunately, I think we all know what Mary Ann would do…she’d go to the fridge and whip up some Friday Night Casserole. I wonder if I could do that and actually make something edible?

I assessed the current leftover contents in our fridge which consist of:

Chicken Ravioli

Tortilla Soup

Small container of Guacamole

1/3 of a container of whipping cream

Homemade Salmon Dill Dip

Molasses cookie batter

1 Chicken Garlic Egg Roll

Smidge of homemade turkey soup

1 slice of pizza

And sure, I have a can of cream of mushroom soup in the cupboard.

I guess I could throw this all into a casserole dish and bake it at 350 and see what happens. My niece is out of luck and will have to resort to cereal. However, I think I’ll throw it all straight into the trash and also have some cereal. With some beer.

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